Added: Lisanne Salamone - Date: 15.03.2022 11:14 - Views: 38799 - Clicks: 9400
We first met when we were both guests on the podcast An Honestwhich you can listen to here. Single, Black, Female.Best of the Worst: Black Spine Raffle
Now in my 30s, these three words are guaranteed to elicit sympathetic looks at best and a figurative and literal swipe left at worst. Did you know that indating website OkCupid ran a study that revealed black women received the fewest messages of all its users? The BlackLivesMatter civil rights movement rightly rose to the top of the world agenda this week and I found all my insecurities amplified.
If, like me, you have been battling loneliness and isolation during this lockdown period, your mental health may be already fraught.
If you are single and black, this week may have pushed you over the edge. As I tried and failed to avoid the gut-wrenching video footage of black men and women being ill-treated AKA raped, battered and destroyed I broke down. I was born in the UK to Nigerian expats, had a good education and have good friends but this week I was reminded of memories I had pushed down. A quota usually of one. Other things began to cross my mind. Rejections from jobs I knew I was qualified for before I even got to interview. Was it my Nigerian name that had me passed over for someone else?
I told my white friend about it in passing, mainly to relay the annoyance, but she told me this week that she has never forgotten it. In her mind, the reasons they gave were disproportionate to the way I was treated. In mine, it was simply par for the course.Single black female
But to explain that these are the things we will deal with on a regular basis. Since this is a publication for singles, let me take this back to dating for a moment. Have you ever worried that in a blind dating experiment, the curtains might be pulled back and the person you are dating might be appalled by your appearance?
I have. My ex-husband was my first white partner, and I was genuinely surprised that a white man could be attracted to me. The year I was obsessed with Love Island was like playing a constant game of hide and seek with my TV. The show that gave me the most feels this year was Love Is Blind, in which Lauren black and Cameron white met and fell in love before they had seen each other. I was ecstatic — and much relieved — that a positive representation of a black woman being loved had finally been shown on screen.
But one couple among around eight billion people in the world does not enough of an example make. But the onslaught of footage and historical evidence can be exhausting. Tola Doll Fisher is a writer and speaker. Huge thanks to Tola for writing so powerfully for this newsletter. Please do go and pre-order her bookwhich is out on 18 June. I have recently learned just how important pre-orders are to authors and publishers so do order it today if you can! It will also be a future book for The Boob Club book club.
This gal-dem article hit me right in the feels. Aside from the depressing statistic that those entering romantic relationships lose on average two close friends, I found what writer Kimberly McIntosh says really powerful because this is exactly what I worry about. But when you carve out space in your life for someone else, what do you lose? What do you give up to fall in love? And do you have to? SingleLife Pt. I have no idea how I stumbled across this totally random American YouTube video but it kind of perfectly encapsulates all the different debates that swirl around this newsletter and that I see happening on the Facebook group.
The people in this video are debating whether you can be happy and single but are also discussing how much they want to find someone or whether that will make them happier or not. Anyway, this is a bit of a random recommendation but I enjoyed watching people discussing things I often think about. Subscribe now.
I wrote about my response to the conversations surrounding Black Lives Matter on the Facebook group that accompanies this newsletter. The weekly hang out is back! Apologies for the hiatus. I just took way too much work on the joys of being freelance and too scared to say no and spent one too many evenings on Zoom.
I will shout about it on InstagramFacebook and Twitter if I manage to get it locked down. If you would like to support what I do, please consider subscribing to be a paid supporter of The Single Supplement.
Jun 7, Share Share.Single black female here
email: [email protected] - phone:(373) 224-6171 x 9222
Lisa B. Thompson